LurLar's Afrikness

I love you!!!

2008-02-14T08:43:00.000-05:00

I love you for giving me the opportunity to love

I love you for letting him come into my life

I love you for making me know that he is the only one that completes me

I love you for not making him run away after seeing the weird side of me

I love you for teaching him the ways to calm me down when am nuts

I love you for the beautiful understanding that we share

I love you for making him the only one that can put a smile on my face,when am angry

I love you for making him pick me up,when i fall

I love you for making him the shoulders i can cry on

I love you for making him love me,cos i know he does

I love you for not letting temptation push him away from me

I love you for making him stand out in my life

I love you for making a BRIGHT FUTURE for us

I love you for making us love you

Happy Valentine's Day to all my blog fam.

At Last!!!

2008-02-12T08:01:00.000-05:00

First of all,lemme start by saying Happy new Year to all my readers,and blog fam. 4months vacation no easy at all.lol. How are u all doing? I know u r fine by God's grace,and if you are not,know in your that it's going to be well in Jesus Name.

Mehn....I have to say a big thank you all of you that got me back in here,cos when i read my comments,i just can't help but feel the love,but anyways,am back.

My Blog most likely will take a new turn dis year,i want to reach out. I have some ideas,but still do u guys have any ideas of ways to reach out? What's going on in blogville? Mehn everywhere is just dry...well we still got some faithfull pple that update reguraly which i really admire them for it.

Finally I choose to update today cos it's my BIRTHDAY!!! Happy Birthday to me,and i hope this year brings more joy and happiness to me.

Gone till........

2007-11-05T14:05:00.000-05:00

Hello Eveyone....i apologize for not responding to all comments. I also apologize for updating late,things are just happening lately that,i can't even think straight. Am going to stop blogging for a while...then get my head refreshed. Am going to miss everyone so much. Oya sparkle wipe ur tears....lol. I will come by ur blogs to leave comments. Thank You.

War btw Father nd Son

2007-10-14T00:19:00.000-04:00

Who do u think will win?

Do you show GRATITUDE?

2007-10-05T23:28:00.000-04:00

I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around.We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels.

My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said,"This is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are received."I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.

Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section. The angel then said to me, "This is the Packaging and Delivery Section.Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them."I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working hard in that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packed for delivery to Earth.

Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing.

"This is the acknowledgement Section," my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed."How is it that there's no work going on here?" I asked."So sad," the angel sighed. "After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgements".

"How does one acknowledge God's blessings?" I asked."Simple," the angel answered.

"Just say, "Thank you, Lord'.

"What blessings should we acknowledge?

'If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep ... you are richer than 75% of this world.

"If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the worlds wealthy."

And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity."

Also ..."If you woke up this morning with more health than illness... you are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day."

"If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation ...you are ahead of 700 million people in the world."

"If you can attend Church, Mosque or any religious meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death ... you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world.

If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you are unique to all those in doubt and despair.

"If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special, and, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.

Have a good day, nd count your blessings. " Remember your Lord has declared that, 'If you are grateful then I (HE) will add more favours unto you'".

Attn: Acknowledge Dept.:"Thank You Lord! Thank you Lord, for giving me the ability to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people to share it with."

What kinda MAN are you?

2007-09-29T11:01:00.000-04:00

Thnks Queen for hooking me up with this post. If you wanna read the female version click here.

Types of Men
1. Mr. Thug Life
Advantages
a. Real good at making love
b. Fun and exciting
c. Makes you laugh
d. Has your back, will fight and protect you
Disadvantages
a. Usually drinks and smokes too much
b. Always got drama
c. Stays a thug forever
d. In and out of jail

2. Mr. I dont have a girl
Advantages
a. Will take you out in the beginning
b. Will introduce you to all his friends
c. Compliments you all the time
Disadvantages
a. Has a girlfriend who he's been with since the 2nd grade
b. Will not get rid of her
c. He tells you about her after you've fallen in love with his ass

3. Mr. Big Baller
Advantages
a. Will give you money with no questions asked
b. Has a lot of style to him
c. Will show you some of the nice things in life
Disadvantages
a. Never returns your pages
b. Feels he can come to your house at any given time without calling first
c. Loves to be around his boys more than you.
4. Mr. I'm in the industry
Advantages
a. Can get you and your friends on the guest list at all the best parties in town.
b. Can have a decent stimulating conversation.
c. He is a dress to kill guy.
Disadvantages
a. You don't know if he's gay, straight or bi
b. Seems flighty when you speak of a solid commitment
c. You still have to wait in line to get in all the jumpin parties, then there's drama at the door
d. All he has is a bunch of pictures with celebrities but he doesn't know them personally
5. Mr. intellectual
Advantages
a. Book smart
b. Cares about how you feel
c. Has a very good job
Disadvantages
a. Boring as hell
b. Doesn't know what the hell he's doin in bed
c. He is not street smart
d. Always asking you when can he see you again
6. Mr. Ghetto
Advantages
a. THE BOMB IN BED!!!!!
b. Makes you laugh
c. Got mad style and flava
d. Has a temper, but generally a charming sweet guy
e. Says/looks like he wants a real relationship
Disadvantages
a. He got 3 or more baby mommy's
b. Wants to lay up in your crib, use the phone, and eat up all the food
c. Is in denial when you tell him about himself
d. Comes home at 3:00 am and says he was out with his boys

7. Mr. I'm a rightoues black man
Advantages
a. Will teach you about black history
b. Revolutionary
c. Inspiring & gives to you spiritually & emotionally life lessons
d. Wants a wife and family./The african way.
Disadvantages
a. Breaks up with you for a white girl
b. Mo money-doesn't have a job
c. Doesn't own a nice suit, always wearing camouflage
d. In the end, you find out he is just a trifling, con mothafucka

8. Mr. Too damn good
Advantages
a. Will introduce you to his mother
b. Has a job and will take you out
c. Will give you money for your bills
d. Sometimes he goes to church on Sunday
Disadvantages
a. Secretly wants to be Mr. Thug Life
b. Wears fake Movado & Rolex watches when he goes to the club
c. Ignores you when the game is on
d. You find out after you break up with him that he was cheating on you

9. Mr. Player
Advantages
a. Will tell you that you're not the only one
b. Sometimes he's fairly decent in bed
c. He tells you that you've changed him and he's ready to settle down
d. Has his own apartment and car (invites you to move in with him)
Disadvantages
a. He doesn't acknowledge you in public, especially if there's women around
b. Generally he is a punk (won't stand up for anything)
c. He expects you to believe all his lies
d. After you catch his liyin' ass, he tells you that he told you that he was a playa in the beginning anyway.

10. Mr. I have a job
Advantages
a. Of course.... he has a job
b. Doesn't have too many bad habits
c. Will take care of you when you're sick
d. Tells you that he is in love with you
Disadvantages
a. You stay in the relationship 2 years or more and then find out he's a shiftless, lazy son-of-a-bitch who wants you to do all the wifely duties but won't give you a ring
b. He ends up telling you that he loves you, but is not "in love" with you
c. After he leaves you he gets married a month later

11. Mr. Best friend
Advantages
a. He's your best friend, you tell each other everything, you get along very well .
b.He gives you advice when you and your man are having problems
c. The ultimate gentleman
d. Sweet and caring with a good sense of humor
Disadvantages
a. You end up hooking up with him

.

12. Mr. Right

Who told you there is Mr.Right? Except if you going to stay in ur father's house forever.Trust me all guys have a lil bit of something wrong somewhere. May God bless us with the right person that suits our personality.

Are you going thru ups nd downs?

2007-09-18T15:47:00.000-04:00

There are times that we feel lost,down,worhtless,e.t.c....dial or click on this emergency numbers to get you up nd kicking again. Try it,it's worth it.

When -
You have sinned, phone Psalm 51
You are facing danger, phone Psalm 91
People have failed you, phone Psalm 27
It feels as though God is far from you, phone Psalm 139
Your faith needs stimulation, phone Hebrews 11
You are alone and scared, phone Psalm 23
You are hurt and critical, phone 1 Corinthians 13
You wonder about Christianity, phone 2 Corinthians 5:15-18
You feel like an outcast, phone Romans 8:31-39
You are seeking peace, phone Matthew 11:25-30
You need Christ like insurance, phone Romans 8:15-17
You are leaving home for a trip, phone Psalm 121
You require courage for a task, phone Joshua 1
Your bank account is empty, phone Psalm 37
It looks like people are unfriendly, phone John 15
Paul's secret for happiness, phone <>Colossians 3:12-17
With big opportunity/ discovery, phone Isaiah 55
To get along with other people, phone Romans 12
For security, call Psalm 121:3
For assurance, call Mark 8:35
For reassurance, call Psalm 145:18

You might just run thru this post,nd think it is a waste of time.Am sure if it's a sexual arousal topic some people will read it word for word.(am not trying to condemn,am also guilty as charged). Dnt be afraid to click...it's less than 1min.

What kinda of lady are you?

2007-09-11T19:34:00.000-04:00

There are different kinds of ladies out there ya'all.Ladies which one are you? Guys which one do you want you lady to be?

enjoy...

1. Ms. Gold-Digger

Advantages
a. You have someone to manage your money.
b. She always looks good.
c. She makes your other boys jealous.
d. She makes you look good.

Disadvantages
a. When you get broke she'll be gone and take what you have left.
b. She makes sure she has a child by you to sue you for child support.
c. Once your boy comes up she'll be on his arm the next day.

2. Ms. Freak (secret lover)

Advantages
a. She knows all the right positions.
b. She'll try everything more than once.
c. You're never unsatisfied.
d. She'll do all the things your girl won't do.
e. She doesn't mind being your freak, as long as she catches one too.

Disadvantages
a. Eventually, because she's a female, she'll end up catching feelings.
b. She starts to act like she's your "main".
c. She messes with ya boy and act like you in the wrong for telling that she's a freak.
d. Eventually her stuff gets old. And you need a replacement.

3. Ms. Independent

Advantages
a. You don't have to worry about buying her anything. She got it.
b. She's intelligent, sassy, confident and determined.
c. She's great for (business) conversation.
d. She keeps it real and has goals.
e. She knows how to please a man.

Disadvantages
a. She will continuously let you know, that she can handle it on her own.
b. She will eventually say forget you and get a dildo.
c. She will consider you another one her play toys, or goals.

4. Ms. Dyme

Advantages
a. She's top of the line.
b. She stays looking like a fantasy.
c. She has the body of a goddess with the face to match.
d. She considers herself a "model"
e. All the girls envy her, but she doesn't care.

Disadvantages
a. She's superficial. She cares only about her looks.
b. She honestly lacks confidence and will annoy you about the way she looks.
c. She's probably dumb as hell and if she's not her personality is dry.
d. You have to constantly keep your game up because every kat is gonna try to get her.

5. Ms. Tomboy

Advantages
a. She's cool and laid back.
b. She'll be willing to play rough with you.
c. Of course, she loves sports.
d. Her body is athletically divine.
e. She's easy to talk to and fun to be around.
f. She's a diamond in the rough.

Disadvantages
a. She'll remind you too much of your boy.
b. She might not want to change her appearance.
c. She might actually beat you in basketball, football and track.

6. Ms. Ghetto

Advantages
a. She's not afraid of any other female or male. She will fight to keep you.
b. She's down for you. She'll be there to bail you out of jail.
c. She's always stays fresh.
d. She can cook up a storm. She can make the best out of a bad situation.
e. She keeps it real and keeps you satisfied.

Disadvantages
a. She doesn't know how to act in public.
b. Your mom can't stand her.
c. You get into it with her every other second.
d. She's willing to fight another girl looking at you PERIOD!!!!.
e. Her weave colors are distracting and her vocabulary is minimal .

7. Ms. Good Girl

Advantages
a. She's always there for you.
b. She's intelligent, classy, kind, sweet and cool.
c. Your mother loves her.
d. You can see yourself falling in love with her.
e. You are her first everything.
f. She makes you feel like a man.
g. 8/10 you will be her first sex partner

Disadvantages
a. She's an A or B situation either: A. You're not gonna get any until ya'll are married or she will make you wait A LONG TIME or at least till he feel like you really like her and not just tryin to get some.. or.... B. She said she never done it she said she never tried she's sitting there telling a lie.

8. Ms. Main

Advantages
a. She is the one you respect.
b. She probably may know about the others but might not care.
c. She has all the qualities you want in a female.
d. You've been with her forever.

Disadvantages
a. She starts getting very suspicious and calls you every moment.
b. She will devise a plan to catch you in your act and then kick your ass.

9. Ms. Psycho

Advantages
a. She's fun and spontaneous.
b. She's down to earth.
c. She loves you unconditionally.
d. Everything about her is too good to be true. So everyone loves her.
e. She makes you feel loved.

Disadvantages
a. Don't you break up with her. She will stalk your ass.
b. She keeps pictures of you everywhere and knows everything about you.
c. She can manipulate the hell out of you.
d. She will consider herself wifey even if she may just be that chick on the side.
e. Messing with her can make your life a living hell.

10. Ms. I have a Man.

Advantages
a. She may have a man but she'll mess with you anyway.
b. She looks good.
c. You have an intense night of passion with her.

Disadvantages
a. She'll always come crying to you about the problems with her man.
b. She'll get you caught up and then leave you anyway for her man.
c. If you piss her off she'll get her man to come beat your ass.
d. She'll unofficially make you her man once she gets pissed off at her real man.

11. Ms. Tease

Advantages
a. She's tempting and a nice piece of eye candy.
b. She's intelligent, athletic, respectable and SEXXXXXXY.
c. She knows how to turn you on without touching you.
d. Everything she does is just so sensual.
e. She can bring you to that point and make you wait to get it.
f. Every time you see her you catch a mini orgasm.
g. Every kat wants her cause she's so mysterious and that makes you want to get her first.

Disadvantages
a. NO matter what you think or do you never get it.
b. She probably has a long distance boyfriend somewhere that you will never know about.
c. She gets you hard and leaves you like that. (Unbearable)

12. MRS. RIGHT

Advantages
a. She is not sexy, fine, or a dyme but she is BEAUTIFUL and therefore encompasses all of these descriptions.
b. She is intelligent, sassy, funny, outgoing, determined, strong and classy.
c. She can cook or at least order a meal that is just like your mother's.
d. Her personality is just as beautiful as her body.
e. She believes in God and follows his virtues.
f. She knows that a relationship requires a 200% quota yet she gives her man an extra 10%.
g. She can please her man in anyway. Mentally, Spiritually, and Sexually.
h. She makes you recognize your full potential as a man and completes you.
i. She's always there for, no matter what your dreams are.
j. She's not afraid to tell you the truth and set you straight.
k. You can talk to her and confide in her, she's your best friend.
l. You love being around her more than your boys.
m. You can share your most intimate moments with her without sex.
n. You can have a bad argument with her and then have the BEST Mind Numbing and passionate love making fest ever.
o. She's always willing to find a way to work out your problems and will often take most of your shit. But she's also intelligent enough to leave.
p. She's nothing like any other girls you've met. She's your woman. THE RIGHT ONE

Disadvantage: You've probably met her, or had her in your life but got too consumed with Mrs 1- Mrs 11 that you let her go !

The funniest groom ever.....

2007-08-30T13:35:00.000-04:00

I can't imagine what was going thru the lady's head. What do you think?

What is d true definition of a church?.....

2007-08-17T14:36:00.000-04:00

A church should be a place where can communicate to God in one accord...

A church should be a place where i can talk to my fellow bethren or my pastor about my life problems without being backstabbed....

A church should be a place that will not judge me for past my actions....

A church should be a place that is free of bacbitters,that only worry about other pple,nd not their own problems.

A church should be a place that is used for the center of salvation,nd not center of making money....

A church should be a place that when am told I LOVE YOU...nd they should mean it.

A church should be a place where i can sing,nd express my feelings freely to my God without sister jane being jealous of me.

A church should be a place that is clique free....If you are not in my cool clique, am free to backbite nd say horrible things about you.

A church should be a place that self worth should be the last thing to think about.

There are many more things going on in churches all over the world that's not even meant to be.

Are we really working for the salvation of our souls,or for the salvation of human approval?

One of my favorite song writers wrote nd sang a song saying: When everything is going on smooth nd fine for you....be careful,bcos very few pple are happy with you progress. Who are the very few pple? The pple that are smiling to your face,nd yet they are wishing you the worst scenario, or pple that dnt show you their eye service expression,but still they wish you the best.

Sometimes i think to myself are we really christians?

I know we are not perfect,but what are you doing to get better?

Rantings about Aunty J...

2007-08-05T21:41:00.000-04:00

Hmmmmmmm i dnt even know how to start, well lemme make a list of d things i dislike about her sha(aunty j).
1. Aunty J is a carphobic,roadphobic,highwayphobic,drivingfastphobic(dnt know if dat exist). AuntyJ has a car,nd d only place she drives to is her work place,nd backhome. The thing is that AuntyJ wants you to be her personal driver,if she need to go to the mall,i shld be there or na whala(trouble),if she has doctor's appt,i have to be there to take her there cos we will have to go on the high way to get there,nd she can't drive on the high way. She does this without checking my own schedule,even if i just came back from work,nd am as tired as hell.

2. Not only does she has all this phobia,she has passengerphobia too(lemme explain). whenever am driving or anyone else nd she is sitting on the passenger seat.....it is hell. She starts LurLar you are driving too fast(just 30 on freeway streets)She goes almost having a heart attack.....Lurlar did you not see that trailer coming it almost hit us(moving her body to the opposite side of where the trailer or big vehicle is coming from.... i just roll my eyes nd say to myself: (it's not ur fault). One day i really tortured her life, i was going to cross a major street to a low traffic street, so i stopped the car right in the middle of the road nd there were cars approaching us fast....am sure she almost peed in her pants. She started yelling in yoruba: LurLar wants to kill me oh,LurLar did my enemies sent you to me, LurLar are you ok? Pls Move the car.......i made sure the car coming was not too close nd not far away,nd made sure the street i was heading to was clear. I pressed the accelerator hard,nd slammed the brake......Omo bone oh, i dnt even care how she felt,i accomplished my aim.

3. My auntyJ is the kinda of person that does not like to receive blames but loves to blame pple. She dnt mind buying new clothes for her son....instead of maintaining the old ones by cleaning nd washing very well,but she can point fingers at how dirty some pple r,nd how dey can't maintain their clothes. she complains about how fat some pple r,nd yet she feeds her son candy,nd junk food everyday. she complains when pple give her attitudes,yet she dnt mind being slapped nd told to shut up by her son(for real no joke). If you dare beat her son,nd correct him for doing something wrong.....she starts by complaining that her son has being sick,nd running temp,nd all kinda lies just to make sure u dnt touch him, nd if dey finally do,she takes her son to her room in anger nd compensate him with junk food.

4. Aunty J claims she is a bornagain(picture those kinda pple that dnt wear jewelry nd ties a scarf on their head 24/7)......yet if i describe wat she does nd her opinions you will say WTF?

5. I went to an engagement party(the naija style) with Aunty J,nd groom was really dancing hard,nd Aunty J came to conclusion that the guy was drunk that was why he was dancing like that,i was like that's not true,he might just be happy,nd prolly he just a kinda of person that's not shy.....we started arguing back nd forth. She was like hell no.(Like she was there when the guy was actually drinking).....den i just
dropped the argument,cos i was really getting upset.

There is more.....

Nice Twist

2007-07-27T18:33:00.000-04:00

A man gets on a bus and sees a pretty young nun.

He sits down next to her, and pleads with her:

"You are so attractive and I must have sexwith you.

No," she replies, "I'm married to God."

She stands up, and gets off at the next stop.

The man is devastated.

The bus driver, who overheard,turns to the man and says:

"I can tell you how to get to make love with her!

"Yeah?", says the man. "Yeah!" say the bus driver."

She goes to the cemetery every Tuesday night at midnight to pray.

So all you have to do is dress up in a robe with a hood, put some of that glowing powder stuff in your beard, and pop up in the cemetery claiming to be an Angel.

"The man promises to give it a Try, and arrives at the cemetery dressed as suggested on the next Tuesday night.

"I am an Angel," he declares to the nun, keeping the hood low about His face.

"God has directed me to make love with you."

The nun agrees without question, but begs him to restrict himself to anal sex, as she is desperate not to lose her virginity.

The man agrees, and promptly has his wicked way with her.

This was the best sex he had ever had.

After finishing, he jumps up and throws back his hood with a flourish."Ha-ha," he laughed happily.

"Surprise surprise, I am the man from the bus!

"Ha-ha," replied the nun. "Surprise surprise I am the bus driver and I am gay!!

Friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows..>

Man nd Smart wife.....

2007-07-21T13:05:00.000-04:00

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 60 miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce." The wife says nothing, Keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 70 mph. The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it," He says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, And she's a far better lover than you are." Again the wife stays quiet, But grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 75mph He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently.. Up to 80. "I want the car, too," he continues. 85 mph. "And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!" The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?" The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've got everything I need," she says. "Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?" Just before they slam into the wall at 85 mph, The wife turns to him and smiles. "The airbag."

Happy BuffDay Mama

2007-07-13T22:27:00.000-04:00

Dear God,
Am grateful and thnkful for the life of my mama,she is one of the greatest,most insipiring woman i have ever met. You gave her such a wonderful heart dat she can give her eyeballs out,just for some1else to have sight(even though pple around her dnt appreciate that too much). You gave her this free spirit that she can connect with anyone,nd any age,nd she will act like she has know u for ever. I thnk you for her submissive heart. She takes life as simple as she can. Sometimes pple ask if she was the eldest sister amongst her sisters,with the way she relates to them. I thnk you for giving her mutitalented gifts....(Nurse..a pro,fashion designer..she design my clothes,She can make hair...makes my hair from day1 till present, can cook like a pro,Good with technical problems,nd loving spirit for her husband,nd children). She checks on me everytime,( i grab the wrong message sometimes). Sometimes when God puts into my thinking and ask me....did you check on ur mum nd ask her how she is doing?the way she does to me.......I feel ashamed nd tell myself: Do you know how much that will mean to her? God please 4give me, nd help me appreciate her more than the way am doing now. I want to show her i love her,care for her,appreciate her,nd would never trade her for another mother. God pls give her long life.....so she can see her grand children,nd great grandchildren.God pls give her prosperity......so she can reflect back on her life nd know that,it's not a waste. God pls give her good health......so she would be able to live in comfort,untill the day you finally call her into ur bossom.God you know that special thing she wants from you......pls give it to her as her next Birthday Present.

Your most loved daughter,
LurLar

7 things you dnt know about me.

2007-07-06T18:51:00.000-04:00

Well make me sef join the circle.....

1. I fell in love with blogging from doing gbeborun....(I came to blogville to find out something about some1.) I found out wat i wanted to know,nd d person dnt even know me,or knows about dis. Nope it's not you,nd you dnt even know d person.

2. Am obssessed with Qtips.....i pick d dirt(nothing in there actually) everyday.I have to put saliva in it,b4 i put it my ear or else i believe it's going to make my ear bleed.

3. Dnt know d reason why.......but i check my self out,everytime. If am walking on d street,in d church,especially in nigerian parties. Am just too self consious.

4. I dnt know if this is good or bad........i plan my worst case scenerio every day. (wat i would do incase i got into a bad accident,wat i would do incase i got attacked,wat i would do i got caught in a lie,i was about to tell...e.t.c)

5. I had my first boyfriend when i was 11 years old. The guy really liked me a lot,bought me anything i wanted but i won't just give in. Funny story......but i won't talk about it now.

6. In naija...i was a strict girl,but did not really take my education as serious as i was supposed to take it. ( Did not write my notes in class, chilling out with friends in girls bathroom nd carrying out the latest gist of who is dating who,or who is touching who's private part.

7. I wished i got married at 21,nd have my first child at 22.lol. Too late now sha.

Ok i hereby tag all of you bloggers that are reading now,nd u haven't done this.....lol especially u.( sparkle).

LurLar's First walk

2007-06-30T07:55:00.000-04:00

Ok.....not that av never taken a walk b4 in my life,but in my neighbourhood this is my first time taking a walk.So lately am working on getting fit,as per very soon,i will be walking down the aisle, nd it will be nice to be LEPA(slim) like sparkle.lol. B4 i went 4 dis walk, i was ranting about some things:

1. If dog attack me,where would i run to?
2. Getting kidnapped by some psycho(LurLar plssssss it's day time na)
3. Getting snub by my fellow walkers
4. Taking some money with me so i can buy ice cream when am tired or some change to
jump on d bus when am feeling lazy.
5. Maybe i should postpone it,nd walk with my bf(dat would be more romantic)

Dis are d things going on in my head while i was getting ready to go 4 dis walk. I took the courage nd stepped out of the house. It was 6:30am, nd not dat many pple on d streets. My first shocker was dat pple driving by looking at me. Am thinking to myself.....wat are dey looking at? Haven't dey seen a black female taking a walk early in d morning b4? Den me sef come use style stand....took a very good look at myself...guess wat? i was putting on slippers, nd i said to myself no wonder dey were starring dat much,dats their problem jare. As i continued my adventure...i got my first good morning from a old white man trying to keep fit like me. I smiled, nd continued my journey. Wat i saw next was not even funny at all. I saw two bull dogs trying to smell eachothers yansh(butt)from afar. I said to myself quickly(The devil is a liar,i will not turn back) I planned where to run to incase dey attacked me. I planned how am going to cause a big drama nd noise to wake every1 sleeping in case dey come near me. Quickly i crossed the streets to the other side. Dis dogs actually noticed me,nd stopped playing with their butts, they stood there looking at me like a hungry lion......nd i on the other side was trying to act calm, nd at d same time watching dem with d corner of my eyes,just incase dey make any move.(can't imagine myself being chased by bulldogs). I guessed i did not give dem any reason to run after me..so they continued with their love affair. I walked to the park where i can get a beautiful view of the sea.....nd i sat down. 5 mins after sha i snapped out of the environment nd ready to go up hill. My going back was smooth, lots of walkers,nd joggers,dey were all being friendly,which was d opposite of wat i thought. I got home trying to act like i just finshed a 10k mile run.I tried cleaning up my sweat....but there was none. I walked in nd i got the positive reinforcement i wanted from my familia.

The WORD

2007-06-29T16:13:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite quote from the bible.

"For I know the plans I have for you..plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13

Usher and Babyface doing their thing

2007-06-17T05:16:00.000-04:00

Ok dis post is more of me appreciating Usher and babyface damn too cute voices. Destiny Child...yes am a fan,but dis one is for those guys.

Color Issues

2007-06-15T11:35:00.000-04:00

Pls Note: This post is not intended to pick on any race. If you find it offending?.......too bad.

An AFRICAN man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only AFRICAN man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him. The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The AFRICAN man turned around and stood up. He then said:

"listen Bitch....when i was born, I was AFRICAN

"When i grew up, i was AFRICAN "

"When i'm sick, i'm AFRICAN "

"When i go in the sun, i'm AFRICAN "

"When I'm cold, i'm AFRICAN, "

"When i die, i'll be AFRICAN"

But you my friend...."

"When you're born, you're pink, "

"When you grow up, you're white, "

"When you're sick, you're green, "

"When you go in the sun, you turn red, "

"When you're cold, you turn blue, "

"And when you die, you turn purple."

"And you have the nerve to call me colored!!

God why did you make me black?

2007-06-10T01:24:00.000-04:00

See for urself why God made the black skin pple.........It's a poem,nd yea it's long!!!!but it's worth it.

Lord .... Why did you make me black?
Why did you make someone
the world would hold back?

Black is the color of dirty clothes,
of grimy hands and feet...
Black is the color of darkness,
of tired beaten streets...Why did you give me thick lips,

a broad nose and kinky hair?
Why did you create someone

who receives the hated stare

Black is the color of the bruised eye
when someone gets hurt...
Black is the color of darkness,
black is the color of dirt.

Why is my bone structure so thick,
my hips and cheeks so high?
Why are my eyes brown,
and not the color of the sky?

Why do people think I'm useless?
How come I feel so used?
Why do people see my skin
and think I should be abused?

Lord, I just don't understand...
What is it about my skin?
Why is it some people want to hate me
and not know the person within?

Black is what people are "Labeled"
when others want to keep them away...
Black is the color of shadows cast...
Black is the end of the day.

Lord you know my own people mistreat me,
and you know this just ain't right...
They don't like my hair, they don't like my
skin, as they say I'm too dark or too light!

Lord, don't you think
it's time to make a change?
Why don't you redo creation
and make everyone the same?

GOD's Reply:

Why did I make you black?

Why did I make you black?

I made you in the color of coal
from which beautiful diamonds are formed...
I made you in the color of oil,
the black gold which keeps people warm.

Your color is the same as the rich dark soil
that grows the food you need...
Your color is the same as the black stallion and
panther, Oh what majestic creatures indeed!

All colors of the heavenly rainbow
can be found throughout every nation...
When all these colors are blended,
you become my greatest creation!

Your hair is the texture of lamb's wool,
such a beautiful creature is he...
I am the shepherd who watches them,
I will ALWAYS watch over thee!

You are the color of the midnight sky,
I put star glitter in your eyes...
There's a beautiful smile hidden behind your pain...
That's why your cheeks are so high!

You are the color of dark clouds
from the hurricanes I create in September...
I made your lips so full and thick,
so when you kiss...they will remember!

Your stature is strong,
your bone structure thick to withstand the
burden of time...
The reflection you see in the mirror,
that image that looks back,..that is MINE!

So get off your knees,
look in the mirror and tell me what you see?
I didn't make you in the image of darkness...
I made you in the image of ME!

Well enuff reason for me......nd i know these are just few of the reason why he made me a BLACK WOMAN.Convincing enuff for u?

Blogville Idol

2007-06-07T15:30:00.000-04:00

You think you can sing? Come join the first ever,grand,record breaking,one and only worldwide Blog Idol.....The fun part is, you don't have to have an amazing voice like Jennifer Hudson, or a mellow killer voice like Robin Thicke.lol You can be a frog voice and win,you never know........It's all about confidence and fun. Well am a contestant,and waiting to see you on stage(record stage)lol. We might reach places we never know we could get to.....so dnt bite your finger when you see me on TV at the end of this competition. You wanna give it a shot? this is d entrance.blogvillepopidols.blogspot.com

Lets Stop Hating on each other.

2007-06-05T10:56:00.000-04:00

Voice Comment....am loving it. Nice piece that i think u shld be shared among sistahs(not only ur mama pikin)lol. U think it's too long abi? read it first and u will see it's worth every single minute.

Ok...so I walk in and you see me. You see that my hair is done, my
outfit is fierce and I carry myself like a lady. I smile at you but
you roll your eyes at me, then, turn your head and whisper something to
your girl. Why you hatin'?

Ok... so maybe I'm a new employee and this is my first day at work. I
almost thought I would be the only sista in the joint until someone
introduced us to each other. I smile and extend my hand, happy to know
I won't be here alone. You smile and shake my hand but there's
insincerity in your eyes and your hand is limp. You seem guarded.

What's wrong Ma'?

Ok ...so maybe my man and I have been having problems. And since
you've been my best friend for years I confide in you that I think he's
cheating on me. You offer your support. Until I find out that he's
been cheating on me....with you! Why would you hurt me like that?

I found your knife, girl.....it's in my back!

As women we battle daily. We battle keeping our families together,
keeping our men happy and maintaining our presence in the workforce.
With all that battling going on why in the world should we have to
battle each other?

Now I'm not saying every sistah has a knife...but some of you
do....and you know who you are. Why is it that a woman can't get
her glamour on without you having a problem? Why can't I get a
blonde weave without you having something to say?
If I'm working myself to death in the office
trying to climb the corporate ladder...why am I suddenly a sellout?
If I leave the room for a minute why can't I trust you around my man?
Smiling in my face, but gossiping all my personal business behind
my back? You now have permission to consider yourself triflin'!

Inferiority Complex. It makes us feel that in order to be someone
special we have to put everyone else beneath us. Are we so insecure in
ourselves that we can't feel good until we pull someone else down?

There's something wrong here. We've come to envy those who've
accomplished in their lives what we've only dreamed of having for
ourselves. And when we fear we will never be able to get what we want
- we steal it.

There is a serious self-worth issue going on here. We're in a day and
age where we should be encouraging each other and holding each other
up.

Sisterhood should not end when Oprah goes off. Truth be told, there
will always be someone prettier, sexier, stronger, and smarter. I'm sorry
Boo - that's just the way it is. But that's ok.....just do you!

I don't care how good Beyonce' looks - if she walks into the same room
I'm in, it doesn't make me any less of the diva I already am! I love
admiring hairstyles...but there's no need to be jealous. Honey,
nowadays there's enough hair for err-body.

I have goals in life. There are things I strive to attain. Yet I seek out
successful sisters because they keep me motivated.

Life is so much more than who looks the best, who dresses the best and
who makes more money. So when you see your sister going for hers let
it inspire you .... To do you.

SPREAD THE WORD

Time Off

2007-05-29T18:48:00.000-04:00

How do i start my speech.....lol,no sa. Am not leaving blogvilla oh, cos i can see Sparkle crying alredy.lol. Am kinda stucked in the middle of a lot of things lately...i won't be posting stuffs regurlarly,I will sure drive by ur blog house to leave comments,nd i hope to juggle my way out of this traffic am stucked in.xoxoxoxoxoxxo.

You said you will make a way!!!

2007-05-22T21:42:00.000-04:00

Lord why is the way not opened yet?

Am i being in a hurry too much?

It's 5years already since you said it.

Am in the wilderness Lord, I dnt know where to turn

Show me a way Lord.

The tunnel is too dark for me to walk in.

Things that i don't want to be said to me, are now being said.

People are questioning me Lord, nd i know u know,that it's u that they are questioining

Lord i know your words will never come back to you unfulfilled

Lord my faith is getting weaker, i dnt want to doubt you, cos i know you did greater things for me in d past.( Humans, yes we always want more)

After telling you my heart, in prayers,nd sobing like a baby that's starving for the warmth of his/her mother.

It clicked in my head, and i started singing the song: GOD WILL MAKE A WAY

even though i know you understand perfectly what am talking about. I need that way Lord.I need it ASAP. I dnt want unbelievers asking me;where is my GOD?

Put a smile on my face Lord. I want to proclaim that there is NOTHING that is IMPOSSIBLE for u to do.

I heard conformting words from my loved one that restored my assurance that: YES,YOU CAN MAKE A WAY.

Naija Grammar 4 life.

2007-05-12T19:35:00.000-04:00

My naija grammar changed after i got to overseas:

"Truck" instead of "Lorry"
"SUV" instead of "Jeep"
"Forget it" instead of "Fashi"
"Wuz up" instead of "How far now"
"Hood" instead of "Bonnet"
"Trunk" instead of "Boot"
"Gas station" instead of "Petrol Station"
"Fireworks/Firecrackers" instead of "Banga"
"Soda/Pop" instead of "Minerals"
"Cafeteria" instead of "Canteen"
"Faucet" instead of "Tap"
"Steal" instead of Tap"
"Cookie" instead of "Biscuit" (Cabin)
"VCR" instead of "Video"
"Movie" instead of "Film"
"Extensions" instead of "Attachment" (Hair)
"Lotion" instead of "Cream"
"High school" instead of "Secondary School"
"Sneakers" instead of "Canvas"
"Soccer" instead of "Football"
"Flipflops" instead of "silpas"
"Braids" instead of "Bob Mali"
"gum" instead of "chin-gum"
"Living/Sitting Room" instead of "Palor
"Balcony" instead of "Varanda"
"Flashlight" instead of "torch"
Eye infection" instead of "Appolo"
D list goes on,nd on,nd on......can u remember any? share it.

Cold Night

2007-05-10T20:30:00.000-04:00

Memories of a friend dat died yrs ago,just came to me again, after reading Linda's blog. After d sudden death of dis friend,i was still in denial,dat it was all a joke. The first reality kicked, when it was announced on the nightly news, nd i saw d interviews dey had,nd how his sister, nd all other family described how loving he was the past week. The sister stated: He hugged me more than 100 times dis morning( d day he died) he kept kissing me on my cheek, nd hugging me. I yelled at him, but still he wouldn't stop. His father had to scold him, dat it was getting too much. Buki said if she had knew he was going to die later,she would av hugged him all day long. She would have told him how much she really enjoyed him doing dat, dat all those yelling nd she acting she doesn't like it was all pretence. I started crying so hard,nd asked my self is dis really true? Is patrick gone? On his wake keeping day. I said to myself, i was going to hold his hands even if possible kiss him on d cheek,nd forehead. As we were going in line, espcially the youths in my church. I got to where patrick was............( xcuse me for a sec,am getting a lil bit teary). So i got there i saw patrick's face, nd how much it had changed,Is dis how dead pple really look? i bursted into tears badly, i wailed, i asked God why him? I cannot even look at his face, i ran to Patrick's mom hands, nd we both hugged ourselves,nd cried out loud. I wish i could do a miracle, nd tell her it was all a joke, dat her son was alive. I was d last person to put a flower inside Patrick's last resting place with my shaky hands,nd i cried my eyes out, like no man's buiz. I wondered how can i see someone dis sunday, nd next sunday, am at his burial. Is dat it? Just one second,makes a good diff btw life nd death.( Patrick collapsed at a basket ball game,while playing for his team, dey tried to keep him breathing, but he died on his way to the hospital, in an ambulance)
Am dedicating dis blog for Patrick,nd may u cont to rest in the hands the Lord.

Top Ten bullshits I can't stand

2007-05-09T11:58:00.000-04:00

I have lots of bullcraps i can't stand, but here are the most annoying ones:

1. Fake Ass People: mehn i hate when pple are not being real to me,they are so super sweet to u in ur face, but when u r not there, u dnt want want to know how bad dey av painted u, when i find out about dis lame ass pple, it makes it hard for me to trust anyone but me.

2. Liars: I know we all lie, but lying has degree, some pple r just to extreme dat dey come up to ur face, nd lie, nd dey freaking know in their guts that they are lieing. Nd u see dem,dey be like "I SWEAR TO GOD". How dare dem call GOD into their lying mouth. morrafuckers.

3. Drama: Some pple r just too freaking dramatic, dey act like dey r d most non-fuked up pple, but by the time u dig their shyt up, dey r so disgusting, nd way worse dan u r.

4. Snitches: Jeeeeeeeeez i cannot stand this crap!!!, You trust a friend,u tell dem some secret stuffs, nd by the time u find out, dey cannot freaking hold their lips together, nd by the time u know it, everybody knows, nd dey all up in ur buizness.Casting u out like u an outcast.

5. Arrogant People: Some pple are just too full of themselves, they act like they own the world, they expect u to say hi to dem first, dey expect u to be crawling on d floor while u greet dem(esp nigerians). This kinda pple are nothing but bull crap.

6. Call me Aunty or Uncle: OMG, Nigerians are so into this,for d pple dat r so into it, i dnt think dey will move on, without doing dis, I have fought with a lot of pple, nd kept malice with lots of pple over dis. Someone older dan u with two yrs, will expect u to be calling dem aunty or uncle, so dey can feel like YES, i own u. Damn i will rather have u go ur way nd i go my way, but still my parents had made me add dat to some pple's name, i wonder if dey had wanted it so bad, why can't dey change their name to aunty watever their name is,abi na me koba their life?

7. Wannabe: There are some pple, dat dnt just get it....lol. They wanna act so fly,nd gangsta,but in reality dey r just displaying how stupid,nd fuked up dey r.

8. Pple dat just can't say my name right: Have u ever been in a lecture room, nd d professor is destroying ur name like hell. I understand some pple that wants to learn how to pronouce it right, nd dey try better each time. I have had some lecturer, call my name nd she had dis disgusting look on her face,like say na shyt she dey chop...yeye woman. I had to pronounce in it in syllables for her, guess what? she still dnt wanna pronounce it right. I had to make up a nickname, nd i was like if u can't pronounce my name right just call me.......

9.Broken Promise:If u dnt love a girl or a guy,pls dnt make dem beleive u do,dnt lie to dem dat u love dem,nd u knw dat ur aim is just to get down low with dem, why not say dat upfront? For pple dat do it...dats fuked up. Guess what? there is something known as karma it's going to hunt u down at d least time u expect it. I also hate when pple say dey will do something,giving me all hope, nd assurance, nd by d time u know it, dey disapoint u. If u r not sure about doing something,dnt assure pple with it. Just say 50% chance, nd tell dem not to put their mind on it.

10.Nagging Pple: If u have seen pple nag, i bet u will understand what am talking about, nd if u haven't wait till u find one......lol.

Do u have bullcraps u can't stand? Share it........lol

Help Me Pls

2007-05-08T08:27:00.000-04:00

I want to get a nice bday present,for a very special guy. Any gift ideas pls?

Emotional Me

2007-05-05T09:29:00.000-04:00

I had a heated argument with my peeps yesterday, nd i was so heated dat i felt like exploding. Tell me when they are going to realize that am not a baby anymore? I can make decisions for my myself!!! Damn am graduating college dis yr, nd dey still treat me like a freaking kindergaten graduate. Do u know life is all about risk? I ask dem yesterday. I know they love me so much, dats why they feel like am not showing it back to dem enuff. Wat made me cooled down was flashing back at how London Buki(a blogger) makes her mom feel like the queen of England. Wait a min! am not like that, I love dem to death, but they gotta make me feel comfortable to show dem. U might think am crazy but dats just me. I can say most parents are just scared letting their child go, maybe dey feel like am going to be gone soon, gone to start my family too. Well regardless i still love u, nd i know u love me too death too.

Four main facts you dnt knw about UR cell phone

2007-05-03T16:41:00.000-04:00

First(WorldWide Emergency #)
The emergency number worldwide for Mobile is 112.If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile;network and there is an emergency,dial 112,and the mobile will search any exisiting network to establish the emergency number for you,and intrestingly this number can be dialed even if the Keypad is locked. Am not sure if dis might work in countries dat thier network is not reliable, but u can try it out.

Second (Hidden Battery Power)
I haven't tried this yet. Imagine your cell battery is very low. To activate press the keys *3370# your cell will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged the next time u charge ur cell phone.

Third ( How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone )
To check your mobile phone serial number,key in the following digits on your phone: (*#06#A) 15 digit code will appear on the screen . This number is unique to ur cell phone. Write it down ,and keep it somewhere safe. If your phone get stolen , you can call ur sevice provider,and give dem dis code. They will block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably wont get ur phone back, but you know that whoever stole it, can't use/sell it either.

Fourth( Free directory Service )
Cell Phone comapnies charges us $1.00 to $1.75 or more for 411 information calls. When you need to to use the 411 information service. You can simply dial (800) FREE 411. wihout incurring any charge at all.

Bible Vs Cell Phone

2007-04-30T18:32:00.000-04:00

I wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible or like we treat our

cell phones?

What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?

What if we turned back to go and get it if we forgot it?

What if we flipped through it several times a day?

What if we used it to receive messages from the text?

What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?

What if we gave it to kids as gifts?

What if we used it as we travelled?

What if we used it in case of an emergency?

What if we upgraded it to get the latest version?

This is something to make you go...hmmm...where is my Bible?

Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phone, we don't ever have to worry

about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill!

Am guilty of this!!! R u?

Fighting my Cravings

2007-04-26T17:23:00.000-04:00

God help me oh!!! when am not pregnant, nd am craving like dis? what will happen when i get pregnant? Well i know i will overcome sha.Ok dis is it... i have TOO much cravings for a special meal in Dunkin Donut. The worst thing about it is dat if is not made exactly the way i want it, i will go back there nd cause drama, not a big one though,lol........ well sha i always like my bagel toasted in a special kinda of way, love dem to put the butter on it in a kind of special way, want my hot chocolate with whip cream in it in a special way.Am crazy right? yes i agree with u, i know am crazy. So my problem now is that i made a decision to stop my morning visit to dunkin donut if i still want to fit in my summer out fits. So for the past week, i can say i am deeply hurt inside me, when i drive by the damn freaking dunkin donut. So the thing is really tempting me hard. I almost even wanna pick a silly argument with my bf, so i can compensate with it, but thnk God sha he did not fall for it.lol... This morning was worst, i was in their parking lot already, den from no where my NO MORE dunkin donut zeal kicked in again, nd i sadly drove out of their parking lot. My throat is still itchy but hey...., lets see how long i can take it, but am thinking am going to break the chain soon.lol. I know we all have some kinda of cravings. Drop a comment about what ur own craving is. Dnt be shy.lol.

Olori Oko (God the Boss)

2007-04-24T16:44:00.000-04:00

I found this video on youtube, nd am loving it so much. I think it improves the quality of christian musics with the choreography in it.

Amazing Miracle

2007-04-23T17:55:00.000-04:00

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone.

She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.

When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.

She asked if they would ask the man one question.

Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her.

"Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone.

God is watching us!!!

Happy Earth's Day

2007-04-22T16:38:00.000-04:00

I would not let this day go by,

Without wishing mother earth hapy birthday.

Even though people who are exisitng inside you are filled with all sort of nonsense.

Sometimes it feels like pple dnt appreciate u enuff.

I wonder maybe this is why u rebell back sometimes .

With Hurricane?

Tornado?

Tsunami?

Regardless we still can't do without you.

We just can't decide to go live in the sun, or moon.

Mother Earth, we still love u.

Plus some of us are trying to still preserve you well.

While some can't just help it, they just dnt know how to preserve u.

Cos we dnt want to witness or be a partaker, whenever you rebel.

Poor telemarketer

2007-04-19T18:35:00.000-04:00

I was just looking around the net, nd i came across this joke. It was funny that, i almost got kicked out of the library for laughing.......lol...... It's long? Yea, but u gonna enjoy it, i give whoever made that up big props,and all credits goes to them.

The Conversation Begins with a telephone ring..............

Mr Okoro : Hello?

Telemarketer: Hi, this is Raheema calling from Hollywood Hereafter Resources. I just wanted to let you know that your phone number was randomly selected in a drawing and we have reserved a free burial space for you at the New Island Cemetry in Bridge-

Mr Okoro: What?!!!

Telemarketer : If you would just give me your name and address. I want to send you a letter to confirm the free burial space we have reserved for you---

Mr Okoro: You reserved what for me.....A grave?

Telemarketer: A free burial space

Mr Okoro: What's the difference?

Telemarketer: Well the word "grave" can be scary sir, you can disregard the letter if you don't want it. This is just a courtsey call to---

Mr Okoro: So as a telemarketer, you can pick up the phone and cold call people and pitch them with such offers?

Telemarketer:Well, yes sir. We always make sure it is something of potential interest to them --

Mr Okoro: Of course, who wouldn't be interested in dying? I am definately interested in a grave. I am. That is a very important decision to make before die right?

Telemarketer:I agree with u sir. You are so open-minded about this. A lot of people don't understand why it is so important to hand-pick your final resting place before you pass on. It ensures you get the kind of burial you want for yourself.

Mr Okoro: I see say na u dem send come

Telemarketer: I'm sorry? Send....come?

Mr Okoro: Oh, they don't use the witchdoctor in the village anymore right? They have gone nuclear and now are using Americans. Na you dem send come!

Telemarketer: I'm sorry sir, but i don't know what you are talking about.

Mr Okoro: I get fillage too o! i be proper bush boy and my mama still dey kampe for waterside. Na one phone call e go take and she go run go fillage go get me gold circle condom protection, u hear. Una no dey here say e better for somebody? Why na so-so make una dey spoil person own una dey like?

Telemarketer: I don't understand what you are saying--

Mr Okoro: You go understand by force. Na airmail i go take send winch to you. You hear. Una tink say una know winch just because una dey do halloween? You tink winch na dat abracadabra una dey do for America? You tink na to chant poetry and cook soup with lizard yansh and frog tongue be winch? I go show u where we dey use snake leg do ogbonge juju. Black winch, red winch, multi-colored winch....for my fillage, na your eyes i go take flavor the juju sef. You go know beta winch when my own army land.

Telemarketer: I do apologize to you if my phone call has offended you in any way-

Mr Okoro: You have not offended me. I am not offended. Do i sound offended? Why would i be offended because you- kindhearted telemarketer that you are- reserved a grave for me? Do you know how old i am? 32 . In my country, people don't die at 32. When they die so young, it is a major tragedy! My mother and father are still alive. You want me to die before them?

Telemarketer: I didn't mean anything-

Mr Okoro: You people never mean anything when you make these stupid phone calls. How dare u wish me death--

Telemarketer: No, that's not what --

Mr Okoro: I DON'T CARE!!! Do you know how many years i worked on getting a visa to come to America? 10 Years....Ejioku.....10!. Do u know how many laws i broke in so many countires before i found my way here? I have been here only 2 yrs. All the pepole who gave me loans to buy ticket and visa have not been paid. My mother and father are still waiting for me to perform the magic of Dollars for them in Nigeria. This telephone was just connected 2 months ago because i am just now able to afford a telephone because i cannot make good money due to my illegal alien status. And now, you want me to die before i can even begin to enjoy a little,.....ah, your own don spoil o, i swear , e no go betta for you.

Telemarketer: E no....what?

Mr Okoro: Na hand ya mama and papa go take bury you. And na there eyes dem go take cry for that yeye grave wey u don reserve for yaself.

Telemarketer: Are u cussing me sir?

Mr Okoro: cuss you ke? why should i? why would i want to cuss someone who is offering me a grave? I am only reacting in my own local English. That is how we behave when we are overwhelmed with joy in my country.

Telemarketer: I just had a distinct feeling that you were not saying nice things about me.

Mr Okoro: See dis wowo wey craw-craw don chop him yansh finish....Look, just aside, are all the members of your family reserved space in your graveyard?

Telemarketer: Some of them do have--

Mr Okoro: No, don't stop there. You should get everybody a plot. I go help you use juju finish all of them make una dey go do whassup dog for Hollywood, abi na wey u dey call from

Telemarketer: I have to hang up now sir

Mr Okoro: Before u hang up, would you by any chance know anything about a scam where telemarketers call people on the phone to assure them a free burial space, and then try to get them expensive mausoleums and crypts? What is it call? Bait and switch, right?

Telemarketer: I don't know what you're talking about.

Mr Okoro: You get pickin

Telemarketer: get picking? picking what?

Mr Okoro: You get pickin? u don born bomboy? make you dash your pickin thegrave now

Telemarketer: Dash picking.....you're dissing me?

Mr Okoro: Diss? Dis one pass dis, agaracha. Dis one na K.I.S.S, kiss- serious kiss of the death

Telemarketer: I have to hang up now sir

Mr Okoro: No, please wait. Let me reserve the whole cemetry for your unborn children. I will also reserve a full page in the Daily times Obituary section--

Telemarketer: Thats mean! you can't talk to me like that just because i am a telemarketer. We are people too

Mr Okoro: Yes, bad people....people who call to trick me at all kinds of hours into buying something i don't want.

Telemarketer: I'm going to report you to the INS! You will be deported!

Mr Okoro: My juju go don finish you before you reach the place. Winch pass winch! you no go die betta, i tell you. I go make sure u crase first, make you waka enter k-mart abi wetin una dey call market for dis side- before dem finish you!...... She reserve grave......why you no take knife kill me yaself? E no go betta for ---hello? you hang up? why u no wait make i finish ? why not wait? Oloshi! Na dead dog wey get rabies go chop the mouth you take talk to me.

Nepa saved me from being bursted

2007-04-18T20:18:00.000-04:00

I was just reflecting back on the good ol'times in naija,nd how NEPA made some good underground impacts. Well for pple dat dnt knw the meaning of NEPA(Nigerian,electric power authority) i believe. Well most pple usually see NEPA as annoying pple.................. nd yes dey might be. At the same time i can say dey made d F part of the fun in my life really fun den. The only thing i can say i did not really enjoy about NEPA was when u watching ur favorite TV shows or soap opera, NEPA turns off the power supply, nd everyone yells NEPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA from their apartments, come nd see curses of all sizes, nd shapes.lol.......nd most importantly when heat is killing us, well sha...mehnnnn na suffer head dat time oh, with all those heat. I know dat if you have experienced the dark side of NEPA, u will understand what am saying. Well one of the major reasons why i liked NEPA den was dat, i was kinda free to walk around with my bf but usually my family thinks am somewhere studying with my friends, or enjoying my toasters reciting their lame love poems , and confessing how am the only ,sugar in their tea,the only butter in their bread, nd infact the only cockroach in their cupboard.Mehnnn some naija guys are lame.lol.......... There was this night i was coming back from lesson(after school tutoring), nd regularly am not supposed to walk with any boys, except for my bro,cousins,or close family friends. (esp female children) Imagineeeeeeee!!!. I wonder how parents dnt realize dat no matter how u restrict a female child, if she wants to go wayward she will. So sha.... I was coming back home with my BF. We decided not take bike, cos it was dark outside, nd we wanted to feel the love atmosphere, nd catch up on whatz up with each other a lil bit.So we were walking hand in hand, very close, a lil bit too close sha. We were enjoying the moment so bad, dat we forgot about everyone else, more like we were alone in our own world. I was feeling this mood so bad that i 4got, i was almost home. As we were about walking into the street dat led to my house.hmmm. Guess what? I saw my cousin walking towards us.OMG i froze instantly. Actually i did not know how fast i got my body away from my bf's warmth arms. I remember saying to myself, am dead today ohhhhhh(already blaming myself for walking home with him dat night). My Bf was like what happened? nd i snapped at him, saying: look who's coming. Then he was kinda shocked, nd toughend up, nd was like so wat? aren't we just walking home? den am like yea right, well walk at mback, nd lemme walk in d front, nd lets act like we dnt know ourselves.lol. He was like HELL NO. I gave him dis r u out of ur mind look.He held my hand far apart, nd i was thinking of what kinda lies am going to tell dem at home, if he sees me. We got closer, nd closer, nd my heart beat was going so fast like i was in a marathon race. It felt like one of those moment you pray to God, that if He can help you get out of this mess, you will never do it again. Well he walked by us nd he did not see us, my heart almost jumped out through my mouth.lol......... then i wondered to myself why all dis tall pple dnt look down sometimes, dey just look up, nd keep going like a mallam,(am making mouth now abi? )i wondered what would have happened if he saw me, he would have started a fight with my bf, not even dat when he gets home, he will add all kinds of spice nd pepper to the story. Well i let my hand go quickly from my Bf's hand, nd we said our bye's real quick, and i walked as fast as i can.I got home, nd pretended nothing happened, maybe dat was a warning from God who knows?............all in all ,I thank NEPA sha cos without the dark streets i would have being bursted big tyme.

Virginia Tech Students

2007-04-16T23:52:00.000-04:00

May all the 32 souls that died in Virginia Tech today rest in peace. may the good Lord heal the hearts of their loved ones. How can one wake up, nd plan to go take lectures, nd boom right there, they face their death. I can't imagine the pain they went through b4 they finally gave up the ghost. I can't imagine the people that wished they had one more chance to talk, love, or share with them everything they have. 32 souls died a painful death for no reason. Why? Why? Why? My heart will cont to grieve for them , their families, and all their loved ones, as long as i remember them.

My Life as an ex CDSS student(Part 1)

2007-04-13T23:55:00.000-04:00

One of the most intresting period of my life, was when i was in Command Day Secondary School. (CDSS) ikeja. Well it is a moment i would love to live allllllllll over again, except maybe reducing d butt lashing i went through.lol. Guess what? it actually made my butt firmer though.lol. Lemme start by introducing you to d pple dat made my journey a sweet, nd sour one, as per school authorities. By the way it is a military school mixed with different economy class citizens.

Commandant:He is in charge. ( Did not come in contact with him dat much )

A.O: Administrative Officer. ( Mini devil) He makes lifes of students miserable for no reason.

R.S.M: The main Devil. ( If he flogs you, u will not seat with dat butt for 3 days,no joking )

Soldiers: Lotsssss of them, always waiting for the order of their Oga to flog students lifes out.

Of course we had vice principles, counselors, nd teachers, but they are usually underground, except for some crazy ones. My first day in CDSS, dat was in 1996. I was all happy, nd feeling good dat am now a big girl, soo tired of my primary school. I was ready to move on so bad. Got up early in the morning,(actually was the frst one to wake up in my house ). Got my light green shirt, nd my deep green pinafore, mehnnn dat thing was kinda big, but still i dnt care. My mom took me to school dat day, she helped me get my books, nd got to know my teachers. I was sha praying for her to go quick so i can mingle with my mates.

There is dis thing about my school dat we can't walk in the school compound, we have to double up(jog), except when we are on break. Here comes my very first butt lashing. I was innocently going to exchange a book in d bookstore, then came this tall, chubbing looking soldier, yelling at me, and am still thinking, his he talking to me, with a disgust look on my face.

Agama Lizard: Baggar where you going to? (pointing his cane at me)

Moi: Am going to the bookstore, {still feeling big}.

Agama Lizard: You know sabi say u suppose double up?

Moi: What is that sir?

Agama Lizard: Baggar lie down there.

Moi: Sir, there is dust here lemme go over ther on the concrete.........
{ Before i even finished talking this soldier just gave me a nice beating on the head for asking a stupid question }

Agama Lizard: Baggar i say lie down there.
{ i quickly lied down on the dusty field, this guy flogged me six, on my fresh butt }

Moi:{Crying} Sorry Sir!!!. {with a shaky voice}

Agama Lizard: Start jogging to where you going , you bloody civillian.

Poor me,haba d guy did not even pity me dat i was a fresh student. I sweared for the soldier silently, who born me, for him to know dat am swearing at him,dat means...... Infact lemme not talk.My class mates had dis thnk God dat wasn't me on their faces. I doubled up to the book store, and looked carefully b4, i doubled up back into my class. Trust me i had swollen butt, and i felt like i dnt want to go back to that school the next day. During my JSS1 days, i was veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy careful, except for if the soldiers would flog the whole class for making noise in my class,(OMG we were goats in my class, we just can't stop making noise, we were cursed with never shut up your mouth when idle, nd too bad i was stucked with them for three years). Well let me not bombard you with too much, next time i will let you in on how i got into trouble with dis wicked senior. Thnk God he did not kill me sha.lol........

Is it just me?

2007-04-12T18:59:00.000-04:00

Is it just me dat have nosy relatives dat wants to control me?

Is it just me dat feels like bursting out my anger on dem when dey do dis?

Is it just me dat feels like crying when the world is creeping up on me, nd i feel like am being choked?

Is it just me dat needs my space?

Is it just me dat feels like punching the hell out of d wall when i can't get my space?

Is it just me dat wants a love one to tell me it's going to be alrite?

Is it just me dat wants dem to mean it when dey say it?

Is it just me dat wants get rid of the negative pple in my life?

Is it just me dat feels like i want positive pple dat can motivate me?

Is it just me dat wants every freaking thing to be alrite just for once?

Suis Confondu

2007-04-11T12:13:00.000-04:00

I have all kinda of stuffs in my mind i want to freakin spit out, but am in a confused state of mind, dat i can't even control my freaking inner mind. Damnnnnnnnnnnn i need a vacation or some therapy b4 i run crazy.

Is Trial Marriage a good idea?

2007-04-09T12:02:00.000-04:00

I was thinking about this issue, and i can't help but weigh both sides. Trial marriage is when u move in with a guy, and you live together as couples. This is becoming more rampant especially with young adults. I found out that both males and females have two different reason of going into a trial marriage.I begin to wonder to myself why do females go into trial marriage? Everyone one has their own reasons. Some might say just to know how the guy really is before they get into the real marriage. Also if the guy is the kind of person dat is sloppy, how responsible is he? some might say to monitor their man, if he is cheating or not. Well if a man is going to cheat right under your nose he is going to cheat. which makes me wonder why married men still cheats on their their partners.Some might even say it is better, cos they dnt want to go into marriage nd all it's legal issues.Some might say for security. Security? Security for what? I really dnt know, but if you do pls let me know. I think the main reasons why most ladies go into trial marriage is just to use it as a faster route for marriage. To get his hands on dat document as soon as possible, but the fact remains dat most of dis trial marriages, ends up in DISASTER. If dis sounds offending to you am sorry, i just gotta express my feelings, nd KUDOS to you if yours worked out fine, or u knw someone dat went through it fine. Ladies do you know why guys go into dis kinda relationship? Well no offense to d guys, i just gotta say it d way it is. The main reason why most guys go into dis kinda relationship is because of frequent sex. So dey dnt have to worry about calling up their girl, whenever they feel like having sex. Also found out that most guys go into this just to get a girl that will take care of them, doing laundry, taking care of the house, and all dat extra chores dey feel lazy doing. Well it is now a different issue when kids are involved. Now they have to worry about the well being of their kids, both socially, nd emotionally. I think it is kinda ok too, if u r engaged with dis fella, nd you are getting married soon. SOON as in less dan a year.In my own words, if you are young and thinking about this, pls evaluate d pros nd cons b4 going in. Really i think it kinda gives u more respect as a female.

Good Friday

2007-04-06T16:51:00.000-04:00

Good Friday!!!, Holy Friday!!!, the friday that Jesus said on the cross." It is finished ". I wonder sometimes, what does it take for someone to die for me, to go through all kinds of mockery, suffering, just because of love. Who can ever LOVE me like dis? None. I still wonder why the LORD will pray for the people, that crucified him. The Holy Book Of John chapter 17: vs: 15-26.

15.
"I do not ask You to take them out of the world, but to keep them from the evil one.
16.
"They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.
17.
"Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth.
18.
"As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world.
19.
"For their sakes I sanctify Myself, that they themselves also may be sanctified in truth.
20.
"I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word;
21.
that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me.
22.
"The glory which You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one;
23.
I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me.
24.
"Father, I desire that they also, whom You have given Me, be with Me where I am, so that they may see My glory which You have given Me, for You loved Me before the foundation of the world.
25.
"O righteous Father, although the world has not known You, yet I have known You; and these have known that You sent Me;
26.
and I have made Your name known to them, and will make it known, so that the love with which You loved Me may be in them, and I in them."

Can you still love someone despite all the hatred they have shown you? In my own words i pray God should give me the sprit of forgiveness. What about you?

2007-04-06T14:24:00.000-04:00

What can you do?

2007-04-03T23:40:00.000-04:00

What do you do when the people you love are doing the wrong thing? What do you do when they don't understand the reason why what they are doing is wrong? What do you do when you know the end of the tunnel they are walking into is darkness? What do you when they confuse the truth for lies? What do you when you feel you can't help it anymore? Do you back off? or do you stick with them until they understand, they have not being in the right track? Do you understand this can affect the relationship you have with this person? Do you respect their boundaries no matter what? Hmmmmmmmmmmm. Food for thought!!!!.

Passion Week

2007-04-02T22:13:00.000-04:00

This week is observed by Christians all over the world. A week that we should all remember how our Lord and saviour, suffered for our sins.If you want just a lil glimpse of what he went to through for us, i will encourage you to watch PASSION OF CHRIST. So what are you doing on your part to help carry the cross? Don't think am a saint, am just striving to be a better christian. I don't want to nail him harder on the cross with my sins. I pray God help me become a more better christian.

Late Night Crawlers

2007-03-30T00:36:00.000-04:00

Sometimes i wonder what am doing late in the night not sleeping? It is not that i dont want to sleep, but the sleep dont come at the normal time it is suposed to come: ( i know!!! i caused it!!!). The funny discovery is that am not the only one, millions of pple, especially young adults and teenagers wonder at night, surfing the web, watching movies, playing video games, nd just being restless. The funny thing is that no matter how late i go to sleep, i feel strong whenever i need to be somewhere the next day, especially if i have a 7 am appt. Crazy right? My fear is that i hope i stop this later on in life.

Family Pressure

2007-03-28T19:58:00.000-04:00

Family pressure is a pressure that i think is most common, some pple go thru it everyday, nd some pple are going through it, and they dont know. Family pressure comes in diff ways: Mother and daughter(most common), Father and son, sibilings pressure( u know how it is ), relatives that are always nosy, that can't help but complain about u. How do one get through this? Well one day i was having a conversation with one of my church members, and she was like, i wish your mom was my mom. I was stunned, and thought to myself, i had once wished someone's mom was my mom. Back to the main question. You just have to tough it out, and not let it get to the INNER you. Trust me i know it is hard, i have been there, and am still going through it, and i will still go through it in the future.