| Friday, July 27, 2007 |
| Nice Twist |
A man gets on a bus and sees a pretty young nun.
He sits down next to her, and pleads with her:
"You are so attractive and I must have sexwith you.
No," she replies, "I'm married to God."
She stands up, and gets off at the next stop.
The man is devastated.
The bus driver, who overheard,turns to the man and says:
"I can tell you how to get to make love with her!
"Yeah?", says the man. "Yeah!" say the bus driver."
She goes to the cemetery every Tuesday night at midnight to pray.
So all you have to do is dress up in a robe with a hood, put some of that glowing powder stuff in your beard, and pop up in the cemetery claiming to be an Angel.
"The man promises to give it a Try, and arrives at the cemetery dressed as suggested on the next Tuesday night.
"I am an Angel," he declares to the nun, keeping the hood low about His face.
"God has directed me to make love with you."
The nun agrees without question, but begs him to restrict himself to anal sex, as she is desperate not to lose her virginity.
The man agrees, and promptly has his wicked way with her.
This was the best sex he had ever had.
After finishing, he jumps up and throws back his hood with a flourish."Ha-ha," he laughed happily.
"Surprise surprise, I am the man from the bus!
"Ha-ha," replied the nun. "Surprise surprise I am the bus driver and I am gay!!
Friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows..>Labels: jokes |
posted by LurLar @ 6:33 PM  |
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| Saturday, July 21, 2007 |
| Man nd Smart wife..... |
| A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 60 miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce." The wife says nothing, Keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 70 mph. The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it," He says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, And she's a far better lover than you are." Again the wife stays quiet, But grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 75mph He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently.. Up to 80. "I want the car, too," he continues. 85 mph. "And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!" The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?" The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've got everything I need," she says. "Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?" Just before they slam into the wall at 85 mph, The wife turns to him and smiles. "The airbag." Labels: jokes |
| posted by LurLar @ 1:05 PM |
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| Friday, July 13, 2007 |
| Happy BuffDay Mama |
Dear God,
Am grateful and thnkful for the life of my mama,she is one of the greatest,most insipiring woman i have ever met. You gave her such a wonderful heart dat she can give her eyeballs out,just for some1else to have sight(even though pple around her dnt appreciate that too much). You gave her this free spirit that she can connect with anyone,nd any age,nd she will act like she has know u for ever. I thnk you for her submissive heart. She takes life as simple as she can. Sometimes pple ask if she was the eldest sister amongst her sisters,with the way she relates to them. I thnk you for giving her mutitalented gifts....(Nurse..a pro,fashion designer..she design my clothes,She can make hair...makes my hair from day1 till present, can cook like a pro,Good with technical problems,nd loving spirit for her husband,nd children). She checks on me everytime,( i grab the wrong message sometimes). Sometimes when God puts into my thinking and ask me....did you check on ur mum nd ask her how she is doing?the way she does to me.......I feel ashamed nd tell myself: Do you know how much that will mean to her? God please 4give me, nd help me appreciate her more than the way am doing now. I want to show her i love her,care for her,appreciate her,nd would never trade her for another mother. God pls give her long life.....so she can see her grand children,nd great grandchildren.God pls give her prosperity......so she can reflect back on her life nd know that,it's not a waste. God pls give her good health......so she would be able to live in comfort,untill the day you finally call her into ur bossom.God you know that special thing she wants from you......pls give it to her as her next Birthday Present.
Your most loved daughter,
LurLarLabels: Family |
| posted by LurLar @ 10:27 PM |
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| Friday, July 6, 2007 |
| 7 things you dnt know about me. |
Well make me sef join the circle.....
1. I fell in love with blogging from doing gbeborun....(I came to blogville to find out something about some1.) I found out wat i wanted to know,nd d person dnt even know me,or knows about dis. Nope it's not you,nd you dnt even know d person.
2. Am obssessed with Qtips.....i pick d dirt(nothing in there actually) everyday.I have to put saliva in it,b4 i put it my ear or else i believe it's going to make my ear bleed.
3. Dnt know d reason why.......but i check my self out,everytime. If am walking on d street,in d church,especially in nigerian parties. Am just too self consious.
4. I dnt know if this is good or bad........i plan my worst case scenerio every day. (wat i would do incase i got into a bad accident,wat i would do incase i got attacked,wat i would do i got caught in a lie,i was about to tell...e.t.c)
5. I had my first boyfriend when i was 11 years old. The guy really liked me a lot,bought me anything i wanted but i won't just give in. Funny story......but i won't talk about it now.
6. In naija...i was a strict girl,but did not really take my education as serious as i was supposed to take it. ( Did not write my notes in class, chilling out with friends in girls bathroom nd carrying out the latest gist of who is dating who,or who is touching who's private part.
7. I wished i got married at 21,nd have my first child at 22.lol. Too late now sha.
Ok i hereby tag all of you bloggers that are reading now,nd u haven't done this.....lol especially u.( sparkle). |
| posted by LurLar @ 6:51 PM |
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| About Me |
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Name: LurLar
Home: Boston, MA
About Me: I love being me, i love to hang with different kinda pple, cos i learn a lot from them, no matter what and who they are.
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